Delhi Belly - someone stitch my belly, I laughed so much

The tagline dutifully warns you 'Shit happens'. They aren't kidding, take that warning seriously. Take anti-gag-reflex meds if you must.

Once duly steeled, you can enjoy the rest of the journey and even be aglow post shit that our cinema can produce such a wonderful ride.

I'll avoid the spoilers this time - this one is truly worth watching first up for yourselves. But for a preview -

Meet Tashi (Imran Khan), Arup (Vir Das), and Nitin (Kunaal Roy Kapur). Three friends sharing a worse than regular bachelor pad, complete with decaying leftovers, strewn clothes and lack of basic hygiene. Tashi gets an hint of impending trouble when his airhostess girlfriend pretty much informs him that they are getting married soon, so much so he doesn't think much of the package she asks him to deliver for her. Tashi tosses the package to Nitin, who, after managing to contract a bad case of Delhi Belly (of which we will be reminded of for the rest of the film), passes it to Arup to deliver. Post this musical chairs of delivery boys, the intended package does not reach the intended don anyway, leading to Mr. Don (Vijay Raaz) to step in to the picture to take charge of Operation Delivery. Other side stories, like Tashi meeting a hip urban lady journo (refreshingly portrayed by Poorna Jagannathan), and Nitin spying on his landlord, slowly build up to eventually collide with the main story and its eventual climax.

The treatment of the movie is fairly groundbreaking (for Bollywood, that is, not cinema in general). It uses English and Hinglish for the most part, and it is recommended that you watch this version rather than the dubbed Hindi version to take full mazaa of the movie. Unabashed and unadulterated cuss and swear words hit you, not in the crass over reaching way, but in the way that reminds you of your younger days.

For the avid movie buffs, it does remind you of Guy Ritchie. Rather than rubbish it down for that, I'll give the movie all credits for pulling it off effortlessly and with panache. Remember, Boom tried, and how it fell...

Many have commented about how Imran Khan was sporting to let Vir Das and Kunaal Roy Kapoor share the limelight and more for the movie, and while I am sure this movie could only have worked as an ensemble movie, and that Khan was truly professional about it, one must remember that the movie was filmed about two or three years ago, when Imran was still fresh from Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, also an ensemble-ish movie. It's only recently that Aamir Khan got down to overseeing the editing, apparently, and hence the delay. Good to know that the delay was irrelevant (unlike how it became the cause of failure for Phir Milenge).

If one looks deeply into the film, one could appreciate the need for Aamir Khan stepping in for the edits. There are some parts, which, while funny, are relatively inconsequential. Vir Das' side story with his girlfriend was one such. Ja Chudail may have been funny to watch, but it was a fairly amateurish execution, IMO at least. One may at best attribute the proposed sequel 'Delhi Belly 2 - Disco Fighter' to this side story.

The chase by Menaka's estranged husband seemed incomplete, almost as if it got deleted at the editing table.

Keen to know more about the shortening of Treasuryvala to Treasury :)

My best outtake of the movie is how the soundtrack was used for the promotion of the movie. Almost everyone knows of Switty, Nakkadwale Disco and the flagship Bhaag DK Bose and their music videos, but none of these have been used in the movie. In fact, the flagship song 'Bhaag DK Bose is the most minimally played, with only the chorus verse playing just the one time in the movie. Come to think of it, had the song not been used for the promos, the song may not have attained the cult status it has today, and would definitely have been subjected to a censor board cut.

But enough objective critiques for now. Sit back and enjoy the ride as the three protagonists get bashed up, steal, and run hell for leather.

And oh yeah, do a few deep breathing exercises before you sit down to watch the movie. You may just avoid the stitches from the laughing.

Dil to Baccha Hai Ji - filmmaker bhi baccha hai ji

Watching a Madhur Bhandarkar film will at least keep you engrossed - or so I thought, as I settled down to watch Dil To Baccha Hai Ji - hoping to get some laughs in what was otherwise a tiring day.

Smile I did, at some of the funnier, tender moments, but I smiled more at the surprising naivete displayed by Bhandarkar. The film employed every possible obvious filmmaking cliches, twists and stereotypes known in Bollywood, and with the film following three protagonists, it was like watching everything in triplicate.

Since I am hoping this post will turn up in search engines and direct an interested reader or two my blog way (hello, you, thank you for visiting!), here is a quick synopsis.

Three protagonists - one private banker (Ajay Devgan/Devgn?), one matrimonial matchmaker (Omi Vaidya), one gym instructor (Emraan Hashmi).

Private banker is stumped when he finds out that he now has an additional secretary, and bowled over that the said new secretary is a cutie PYT (Shazahn Padamsee). Private Banker meanwhile is being graceful about an impending divorce but divorcing wife is your fully stereotypical bitchy separatee who growls for no reason. Cutie PYT keeps going all stereotypically cutie over her new Sir, and even drags Sir to her parties, and thinks nothing of landing up in Sir's house hotly dressed up to do Salsa, or mop Sir's mouth in full view of the office canteen. Not Private Banker's fault that he finds himself smitten, and for thinking it's reciprocated when it's in such full public view - why shouldn't he, after all that's a stereotype too!

Matrimonial matchmaker meets RJ (Shraddha Das) and gets smitten. RJ has no such reciprocations and instead stereotypically leverages his affections to script her shows and to get him pay for her entries to parties while she looks for her big movie opportunity. Matchmaker still persists and decides to give her his life savings so she can get her portfolio done. RJ typically gets rejected and then tells matchmaker she has fallen for him.

Gym Instructor believes life is for fun and games and that willing ladies will 'take care of him'. He then decides to go for the big fish and lands himself an ex-Miss India (Tisca Chopra) who's trapped in a boring marrage with a rich industrialist. All's hunky-dory till he chances upon ex-Miss India's step daughter (Shruti Haasan) and apparently discovers the stereotypical falling in love.

The stories actually converge to the point at exactly the same time, and the protagonists prepare themselves to commit the very next day. They all then fall to the ground with their respective thuds one after the other, so much so that by the time we reach Devgn's story, we have no hope for him.

Stepdaughter gives Gym Instructor a dose of his own medicine when she tells him he was only a fun and game; RJ chucks personal life and makes a 'sensible' (read 'typical') career move when she gets an offer to do a Tamil fim; and Cutie PYT - well she never had any feelings for Sir apart from respect, and wants him to convince her grandma to bless her nuptials with her ex-BF!

Three protagonists rue life together and pop off to Goa for a break, vowing to never look at women. Of course, you know what's coming then. They dutifully chance upon three women who seem to be better fits than their previous flames.

End of Story.

For someone who is known for making gripping movies with a touch of reality/realism - the movie was neither gripping nor realistic. Given the triplicacity (I know that word won't hold good in spell check) of the movie, the grip gets lost 1.5 times into the repetition, and as for realism... well...

• How can a banker in a private bank be surprised that he has a new secretary? Do filmmakers know of something called headcount, and that usually the supervisor would have interviewed the person himself first? And if he's going to have two secretaries, surely he is so senior in the organization that he won't hanging around with the juniors that he seems to be hanging out with.
• And while it is perhaps natural for him to be interested in the Cutie PYT, the latter's behaviour is just not normal, or she is too dumb, in which case the banker should save his time anyway. And landing up in your bosses' house in a hot dress to do Salsa and still be innocent... what time warp is the film stuck in? It would have been more fun - and realistic and explanatory - if the Cutie PYT had ulterior motives in entrapping the banker, just like the RJ had.
• In the matchmaker - RJ story, well at least the RJ was realistically selfish. The matchmaker's characterization was unfortunately, too simplistic and naive, and the proposed match was just too much of a mismatch for us viewers to stay vested in the story. Ironic, that the protagonist was a matchmaker.
• And the Gym Instructor-Step Daughter story... well, really, he is going to tell a rich babe he is going to New York with her without having crossed the I Love You-Do You Love Me hurdle. Yeah, right.
• The divorcee wife was conveniently bitchy without rhyme or reason - obviously done so you stay vested with Devgn's character - during the divorce proceedings, and then conveniently became smiling and moving-on once it came through - again obviously done so Devgn can wholeheartedly fall for Cutie PYT by then.

The Banker characterization really put me off, although Devgn did his best within the constraints. Sometimes I wonder whether our desi filmmakers can ever realistically portray people with the so called left brained professions. Farhan Akhtar in Rock On! came close, although he had the advantage of having to worry about it for all of two lines.

As for Omi Vaidya, the Chaturalingam hangover still loomed large and it remains to be seen whether he is here for a long innings, and if so whether he has the versatility to get a variety of roles.

Emraan Hashmi put in an 'effortless' performance - he did not have to think much, he just breezed in, smooched and mooched around as he always does, and breezed out.

Another trick that they seem to have missed, is that they could have got more popular faces to do the cameo in the last round. At least that's a Bollywood trick that would have been welcome.

There are a few scenes and smart dialogues that make you laugh - Cyrus Batliwala was a good one - but all in all, a childish affair...

Waiting for...

Some good Bollywood movies to hit theatres please.

The World Cup is now gone, and there's only Game (and Faltu) it seems... and now there's the IPL coming up...

Even the music channels don't seem to have any new movies.